Guess that's just the way the sheetrock crumbles...

I decided to have the floors tiled...finally. The carpet was so gross that I just couldn't take it any more. When I ripped it out you coulda planted crops in the heap o' dirt underneath...at least I pretend it was dirt...no telling what kind of crap has collected under there over the last 28 years...I hope nothing too toxic. Believe it or not...this is by far the least interesting discovery so far.

Owning a home is great...sometimes. When I bought this house, it was immediately obvious that the sellers had a few undesirable qualities.

1. Poor taste
2. Wall paper obsession
3. Bad habit of painting over wall paper
   
4. Do it yourself home "improvement" obsession
5. A complete lack of home "improvement" skill and common sense
6. No qualms about ignoring and hiding damage and structural problems
7. A complete lack of scruples where selling a house is concerned

Only later did I discover that the realtor and the inspector must have been in cahoots since a number of obvious problems were "accidentally" overlooked while I was unfortunately 7 hours away trying to coordinate two closings and a move. In short, you never know what you're gonna find when you start diggin' in. The house was poorly built, poorly maintained, and tortured with disgustingly gaudy decor. This house has been treated for termites before and apparently there was significant damage before the treatment was done. I had a hunch that I didn't want to know what was behind the wall paper, but the damn stuff was so ugly that I couldn't stand it any longer. I finally tore it down in the master bathroom, resigning myself to the possibility that replacing a whole wall of sheetrock might be necessary. Little did I know that taking down the wall paper was the least of my worries. The real problem was removing the baseboard since the sheetrock behind there pretty much disintegrates in some places as soon as you start prying. Good grief!

Oh yeah...and then there's the HUGE crack down the middle of the living room floor. Nobody told me I was buyin' a split level. Cripes! We're talkin' 1/4 in. separation in some places and obvious sinking on one side. There's a voice in the back of my head that is relentlessly screaming, "Finish this project and GET THE HELL OUT!"

As I was packing the spent wall paper into a garbage bag today, I couldn't help but note that it was much like cleaning up wrapping paper on Christmas morning. My house...the gift that keeps on giving. Unwrap the magic! Joy to the world, blah, blah, blah...is there liquor at this party? At least there's enough sand on the floor to bury my head if it gets any worse.